LEARNING HOW TO BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN
Body image.
We all struggle with it. No matter what size we are, we think we could look better. I have been both very skinny and very overweight and I wasn’t happy with myself at either size. Now that I’m in my forties, it’s time to start loving myself exactly as I am. But why is this such a hard thing to do?
We are our own worst enemies and far more critical of ourselves than other people are. In an effort to help other women become comfortable in their own skin, I wrote my thoughts on the subject and made it available as an eBook through one of my other businesses. But I think it’s important to share it here with you. I want you to know that you aren’t alone in your daily struggle with your internal monologue. We have ALL been there.
“To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about knowing and accepting who you are.”
My hope for you is that you can learn to love yourself just as you are. Feel free to reach out to me anytime you want to talk. I’d love to hear from you.
Enjoy the book included below as my gift to you.
HIDING IN THE SHADOWS
Have you ever skipped a social event or ducked out of a family photo because you aren't happy with how you look?
I get it. And I’ve done it.
I'm a size 16 and that makes me "obese" as a 5'2" woman. I don't feel obese but the body mass index says I am.
I have been asked when I was due, even though I wasn't expecting.
That hurts and makes it easy to want to hide.
I haven't always been this size. I have gained eighty pounds since high school. I gained a lot of weight when I quit smoking. I've also suffered from organ malfunction and depression which has contributed to the weight gain.
Do I wish I could lose some weight?
Yes.
Does my size affect my ability to do my job, make friends, or travel?
No.
And it shouldn't for you either.
It doesn't matter if you think you're too thin, too tall, too short, your nose is too big, or your hair is too thin. Those things don't determine who you are.
People are interested in who you are as a person and aren't concerned with your size.
Oprah Winfrey has struggled with her weight all her life but she is worth over 2.7 billion dollars. She provides a service to others that they value above her appearance. And she radiates beauty.
How much do you think she would be worth if she was afraid to get in front of the camera?
Not much.
She earned the loyalty of her audience by being in front of them, sharing her story, and helping others.
People don't care what you look like.
You've got to step out from the shadows and become the person you want to be.
“I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.”
THE REALITY OF WOMEN
According to a study published in the International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology, and Education, "The average size of an American woman is now between 16 to 18".
You may be larger than that or you may be smaller. No matter what size you are, there is nothing that says you can't be the badass woman you want to be. Nothing.
The only thing holding you back is your own insecurity!
I know because I'm guilty of it.
I hate my wedding photos but what message does it send my husband if I want to hide those away? He might think I'm ashamed of him. What message does it send your kids if you won't take a photo with them or take them to the pool?
You are only limiting yourself from experiencing all life has to offer. I had to kick myself in the pants when I decided to create my business, Boss Girl Launch Pad. I knew I was going to have to be the face of the company. I needed my members to get to know me and I wanted to establish a relationship with all of them.
I couldn't do that if I was hiding behind my computer all day. I need to jump on live feeds, make videos, take photos, and arrange meetings. I have to put myself out there.
No one looks like a supermodel in real life, not even the model. A barrage of hairstylists, makeup artists, lighting tricks, and airbrushing take place. She spends thousands of dollars on nutrition experts, dermatologists, and personal trainers.
Does that sound like fun?
It doesn't to me. I want to be healthy, sure, but that is a separate issue from body image.
Your body image is determined by how you feel about yourself. There are over 3.8 billion women on the planet and we are all different and unique. What's unique about you is what helps you stand out from the crowd. It's what allows you to go after your passion and your dreams. You have something to offer that no one else does and that makes you special.
Women don't need to strive for some mythical "ideal" that is set forth by the media. We can't all look the same! We are supposed to be different. Own that. And know that no one can take it away from you.
GRAB THE SPOTLIGHT
It's time to step out of the shadows and into the spotlight.
It's scary.
I completely understand. I have to remind myself to do it every day. But you have to do it if you want to achieve all your goals.
You don't want to miss that exciting trip to Bali because you don't want to wear a bathing suit.
Step out there and strut your stuff!
I'm telling you, confidence radiates beauty. Keep your head up, make eye contact, and smile. You will come across with more confidence than someone who is slumped over and trying to hide.
“A confident woman is a sexy woman, in my opinion.”
I want you to make a list of five women you admire. It could be a family member, a celebrity, a co-worker, or a friend. Whoever it is that you look up to, write down their names.
Now, look at your list. You most likely love and admire these people because of how they have influenced you, inspired you, and made you feel.
What do they look like?
You don't care, do you?
How they look has not made one bit of difference in their ability to influence your life.
They have influenced you because they taught you something, encouraged you, inspired you, or believed in you.
It doesn't matter how they look. The most powerful and inspirational women in the world are not defined by the media's perception of beauty. Who decided that a certain look was what we all had to strive for? Where is that person? Seriously. I have never met anyone in real life who agreed that we all had to look like some mystical woman on the cover of a magazine. The people in our day-to-day lives don't think that!
So, why do we?
Why do we hold ourselves up to some impossible standard?
We are only hurting ourselves if we continue to subscribe to that way of thinking.
Internal beauty is far more valuable.
If you radiate confidence, that internal beauty comes pouring out. People will see your true value. Your character, your intentions, your goals are all things that inspire others. If you believe in what you're saying, believe in what you have to offer, other people will see the value as well.
It's time to grab the spotlight and be seen. You are a strong, fierce, beautiful woman. Be the change you want to see in others and, it may surprise you, they will follow your lead.
ON THE DAILY
I want you to wake up every single day determined to move forward in your life, your business, and with your confidence.
Every. Single. Day.
It will be a challenge. You'll have moments of self-doubt. It's up to you to overcome those doubts and replace them with the affirmation that you ARE enough.
You can do anything you set your mind to if you'll just get out of your own way.
Get in front of that camera and take some great headshots.
Jump on that Facebook Live and start talking like the smart woman you are.
Take the trip.
Be present and be seen in your life.
To help you get started each day, stand in front of the mirror and remind yourself how amazing you are.
Here are some daily affirmations to get you started on the right path:
I love my body because it gives me life.
Intelligence is sexy.
I am who I want to be. I have the power.
I define who I am and I am beautiful.
I am perfect just as I am.
I deserve to be treated with respect and I will respect myself.
My body can do awesome things.
Accepting myself is the first step towards growth.
I hope these help you get started on the right path each day. Although this book was written for business owners, I think you can still apply these same ideas to whatever you want to accomplish in life.
“I figure, if a girl wants to be a legend, she should go ahead and be one.”
All my love to you,
Anna Kat
Disclaimer: This article is meant for encouragement only. I am not a mental health professional and cannot guarantee any specific results. If you struggle with depression or any other health issues, please contact a professional. Visit womenshealth.gov for more information.